Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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