i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
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