I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
