Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Send help, water and tortillas.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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