we were pretty classy up until the second keg
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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