What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
