six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
