her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Randomize