I'm so fucking centered right now
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize