I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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