Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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