Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
