My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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