I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
