i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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