He is an equal opportunity slut.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
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