"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
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