i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Randomize