I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
