I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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