Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
In other news, I just burned my penis
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
