I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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