Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
