Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
