i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
