Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
