is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
