Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
