Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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