I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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