I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
