If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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