There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
