when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
