apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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