I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
