Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
