never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
