Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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