I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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