what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
