As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
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He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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