i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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