I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
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