I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
