After last night, I could never be a politician.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
