ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
