is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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