I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I'm at about main and main street
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
