the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
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