So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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