OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
