THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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