I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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