I want to make a zoo with you.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize