please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
