im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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