I'm drive I can fine osifer
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize
